Drilling for Diamonds

“Life is too short;

for cheap customers,

cheap wine,

and cheap sunscreen.”

All three leave you burnt.

-Harry Mills

Popularity: 3% [?]

To check whether your actions are being affected by your negative thinking, you need to monitor your self-talk.

Start by using the Daily Thought Monitor that follows to keep track of your reactions and self-talk.  At the end of each day, first complete section C, then section A, and then section B.  Then finally complete section D.

Think of this as a four step process.

Step 1: In section C of the form describe how you felt when you experienced your unpleasant emotion today.  It’s often helpful if you start by saying to yourself, I felt… and then use a word such as “angry”, “depressed”, “hopeless”, “frustrated” or “anxious” to complete the sentence.

Also rate how upset you were on the scale: 0 (mildly upset) to 5 (extremely upset).

Step 2: In section A on the form, describe the activating event or problem that triggered your emotional reaction.

Step 3: List all the thoughts you said to yourself when A occurred.  An example of a Daily Thought Monitor with sections A, B and C completed is set out on the following pages.

Step 4: Your final step is to dispute your thoughts by completing section D of the form.  After you’ve completed your disputing, evaluate how much better you feel at the bottom of the form.  An example, following on from the previous example is set out below.

Keep filling out your daily mood monitor for as long as you feel you are being plagued by negative self-talk..  If you want to permanently change your thinking style, use the Daily Thought Monitor for ten to 15 minutes, five days a week for at least a month.  These Daily Thought workouts will increase your mental toughness in the same way a daily jog increases your physical stamina.

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Disputing

The most powerful technique to turn a negative belief around is disputing.  When you dispute a negative belief, you argue with yourself by asking three basic questions.

1. What is the evidence for this belief?

When you jump to a conclusion based on a negative belief, you tend to jump over evidence that, had you considered it, might have led you to a different conclusion.

2. Is the belief sensible?

Negative beliefs are often based on distorted logic.

3. Is this thinking useful?

Sometimes beliefs are destructive and serve no useful purpose.

A B C D E

To practise disputing, extend the ABC model (Activating Event, Belief, Consequences) by adding D and E.  D stands for dispute, E stands for effect.

Activating Event: This is the negative event that triggers the emotion.

Belief: We react to activating events by thinking about them.  These thoughts turn into beliefs.

Consequences: Our beliefs have consequences.  These are what we do next.

Disputation: To turn a negative belief around, dispute it.

To dispute a negative belief ask:

• What is the evidence for this belief?
• Is the belief sensible?
• Is this thinking useful?

Effect:The effect of disputing is the renewed confidence and energy that flows from getting rid of destructive negative thoughts.

Practice Disputing

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To become more confident and persistent we have to learn to think differently.  Picture yourself in a crowded elevator.  Someone, behind you keeps standing on the back of your shoes.  You think to yourself - “Who is this obnoxious jerk?  What a nerve!  How inconsiderate can you be!”  As these thoughts race through your mind, you get angrier and angrier by the second.

You swing around to give the person a piece of your mind when you see that it’s a blind person, complete with sunglasses and white cane.

Instantly your anger subsides, and your feelings change to sympathy or concern.  You even offer to move forward to give the blind person more room.

This example illustrates the fact that our immediate thoughts determine our feelings and what we are feeling shapes the way we behave.  If you think or believe that someone has deliberately stood on the back of your shoe and hurt you, you behave differently toward that person than if you think it was an accident.

It’s the same in selling. If you think a situation is hopeless, you behave differently from the way you would do if you think there is still an option for you to try.

The ABCs of Behavior

Psychologist Albert Ellis pioneered much of the work that shows how you think determines how you feel and subsequently behave.  Ellis uses a simple ABC model to show how we think determines how we feel and behave.

The A stands for activating event. This is the event that triggers the emotion.

The B stands for belief. When we strike activating events we react by thinking about them.  These thoughts rapidly turn into beliefs.  These beliefs may become so habitual that we don’t even appreciate we have them unless we stop to examine them.

The C stands for consequences. Our beliefs have consequences.  These are what we do next.

Here is a sales example using the ABC model:

Activating Event: I made thirty calls and got no
appointments.

Belief: This is a waste of time.  I’m not cut out for selling.

Consequences:I feel frustrated, dejected, and depressed. I’m giving up,

A critical point to remember is that the same negative event can trigger different reactions in different people. Here are three examples of how three different salespeople handles the same activating event:

Example one:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: I’m hopeless

Consequences: I feel depressed. I’ll take a couple of days off.

Example two:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: The competitors have offered a better deal. I might have taken them for granted.

Consequences: I’ll have to improve my service to my other key accounts and I’ll start tomorrow by calling on all my purchasing managers to see how I can provide better service.

Example three:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: I’m on a downward spiral.

Consequences: I feel angry and dejected. I’m off to get drunk.

As you can see, it’s your beleifs or thoughts that determine your approach to selling. Different beleifs produce different consequences. It’s our beliefs or thoughts that determine out levels of confidence and persistance.

Popularity: 32% [?]

How to overcome failure, rejection and negativity.

Overview:

• Our levels of confidence and persistence and determined by our beliefs.
• To become more confident and persistent we have to think differently.
• Negative beliefs can be identified, challenged and extinguished.

Can you reprogramme yourself to become optimistic - to become more confident and persistent? Can you learn to overcome the negative thinking habits that cause you to despair and give up? Yes, you can. Confidence and persistence are learned skills - ones that can be permanently acquired.

Before you read further, you might like to quickly assess your own levels of confidence and persistence by completing the two questionnaires, How confident are you? and How persistent are you?

How confident are you?

This questionnaire will indicate your level on confidence. For each of the statements listed below, indicate to what extent each one describes you with a number from 1 - 4. Be honest with yourself.

4= Strongly agree

3= Agree

2=Disagree

1=Strongly Disagree

1. I am a very able salesperson.
2. I welcome new sales challenges as a chance to prove myself.
3. I bounce back immediately after a knock back.
4. I make my own success; it has little to do with luck.
5. In tough times i can still perform.
6. I never let criticism get me down.
7. I like who I am.
8. I usually feel calm and in control under pressure.
9. I always believe i can persuade a waivering customer to buy.
10. I rarely, if ever, blame myself when i get rejected.

Now total your scores and interpret as follows:

• If you scored more than 35 you are extremely confident. Your levels of confidence will help you cope with even the toughest of sales challenges.
• If you scored 25 to 35 you are reasonably confident. However, you need to guard against the spells of doubt when you question your ability to stay on top of your job.
• If you scored below 25 you often lack confidence. Handling failure, rejection and negativity is a continual challenge.

How persistent are you?

This questionnaire will indicate your level on persistence. For each of the statements listed below, indicate to what extent each one describes you with a number from 1 - 4. Be honest with yourself.

4= Strongly agree

3= Agree

2=Disagree

1=Strongly Disagree

1. Even when customers are rude and aggressive i follow through with my best level of service.
2. Regardless of how many calls or setbacks it takes, I rarely give up on a live prospect.
3. At work i rarely have trouble getting started on the boring tasks associated with my job.
4. I always go into sales presentations well prepared.
5. I rarely defer completing sales tasks i dislike.
6. Selling is tough, but never too tough for me to handle.
7. If necessary, I’m always prepared to work the extra hours i need to complete a sale.
8. I rarely have trouble completing my cold calls.
9. I rarely allow interruptions to distract me from my important sales tasks.
10. I rarely get behind on my paperwork.

Now total your scores and interpret as follows:

• If you scored more than 35 you are extremely persistent. Your levels of persistence will motivate you to keep going in situations wheres most of your competitors give up.
• If you scored 25 to 35 you are reasonably persistent. However, you are vulnerable to more determined competitors.
• If you scored below 25 persistence is a major problem. competitors will take much of the business you probably feel your deserve.

Popularity: 19% [?]

The Importance of Optimism

Overview

• Our attitudes determine the way we sell
• Optimism if the key to sales success
• Optimists have the mental toughness to stay confident and persistent in the face of adversity.

Our attitude to life - the way we view the world mentally - is the most important determinant of sales success. One Harvard Business School study found that there were four factors critical to sales success: information, intelligence, skill and attitude. When the factors were weighed for importance, information, intelligence and skill added up to just seven percent of sales effectiveness. Could it be that ninety-three percent of sales success comes from attitude?

Our attitude towards a challenge can certainly make it easier to handle or impossible to deal with. You can see situations as opportunities or failures. our attitude can calm us down, or stir us up.

Our attitude can affect the way we experience pain. Psychologists tell us, for example, that soldiers wounded in battle report feeling less pain than civilians who have suffered the same injuries.

Why is this? In theory, the same wound should produce the same pain. the answer lies in the different attitude of the two groups to the wound.

Soldiers often view the wound positively. A soldier thinks, “Great, I’m leaving the battlefield and I’m still alive.”

A civilian typically views the wound negatively. the civilian thinks, “This is terrible, I nearly got killed. And now I have to spend weeks in hospital.” “What terrible luck,” the civilian bemoans. “how unlucky can you be?”

The civilian expects continued health not a sudden need for hospitalisation. therefore the civilian feels anxiety rather than relief, and anxiety increases pain.

Two ways of looking at the world

essentially there are two ways of viewing the world: optimistic and pessimistic.

When your are optimistic and expect success you transmit a positive attitude. When you are pessimistic and expect failure, your attitude is usually negative.

Two ways of thinking

Pessimist                                                 Optimist

It cant be done                                     It’ll be a challenge

It will  never work                                We’ll give it a try

Its too difficult                                     Lets try a different way

We’ve never done this before               We have the chance to be first

Its good enough                                   Everything can be improved

Our customers won’t buy this               We have to educate our customers

It’s not my job                                       I welcome new responsibilities

Its against policy                                  Anything’s possible

Its not going to be any better                Let’s try one more time

There’s not enough time                        Let’s recheck out priorities

Its too radical                                        Let’s be bold

We can’t compete                                  Let’s find a new way

No one else does this                           Let’s be leaders not followers

No I can’t                                              Yes I can!

Optimists Persist

Optimism produces confidence and persistence. history is littered with stories of highly successful people who persisted in spite of overwhelming obstacles and setbacks.

One of the remarkable examples of persisting in the face of repeated knock backs is Abraham Lincoln.

He lost his job in 1832.

he was defeated for the legislature, also in 1832.

He failed in business in 1833.

He was elected for legislature in 1834.

He suffered the loss of his sweetheart, who died in 1835.

He suffered a nervous breakdown in 1836.

He was defeated for speaker of the state legislature in 1838.

He was defeated for nomination in Congress in 1843.

He was elected to Congress in 1846.

He lost his renomination for Congress in 1848.

He was rejected for the position of land officer in 1849.

He was defeated for Senate in 1854.

He was defeated for the nomination for Vice-President of the United States in 1856.

He was defeated again for the Senate in 1858.

Abraham Lincoln was elected for President of the United States in 1860.

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Selling in a tough, recessed market calls for extra resilience and the ability to bounce back from rejections and belligerent customers.

Over the next few sessions, I am going to focus on how you can develop and hone your mental skills.

Winning the mental game in selling has always been a key to success. Here are the skills, attitudes and techniques.

Much of the advice is based on the research we began into mental toughness. In the early 1990’s I wrote a book: The Mental Edge which was based on work which was being pioneered at Autralia Institute of Sport and other high performance sporting academies.

Achieving Optimum Performance

• When you perform you are operating in one of three mental performance zones.
• With the right mental skills you can control the zone you perform in.
• The key to peak performance lies in maximising your time in your zone of mastery - the flow zone.

The Three Performance Zones

Flow Zone

The flow zone is where you feel your skills are equal to the challenges you face. Tasks seem effortless, tasks flow. Hence the name Flow Zone. This is the zone of exellence, acheivment and mastery.

Panic Zone

In the panic zone, the challenge seems too great for the skills you have. You burn up your energy trying to accomplish more than you feel you can tackle.

Drone Zone

In the drone zone, you have all the skills but there is no challenge. The tasks are too small, trivial or demotivating. The result is lethargy and boredeom.

Exercise: Performing at your best

Think back to a time when you performed extraordinarily well. it might have beern at work, at sport or with your family. Note: it does not have to have been of great imprtance or monumental significance.

Picture:

1. Ther background to the experience.

2. Who was there, what happened, what was said.

3. Your feelings, thoughts and emotions during the experience.

When you have described your peak experiences use the checklist of performance stats to analyse your experience. The attributes you choose arwe the performance states that collectively put you in the Flow Zone.

Checklist of Performance States

Performed extremely well        1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Performed  extremely poorly

Extremely relaxed                    1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Extremely anxious

Extremely confident                 1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Not confident at all

Extremely motivated                1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Not motivated at all

Complete control                      1 2 3 4 5 6 7     No control at all

Automatic                                 1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Constantly thinking

Muscles relaxed                       1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Muscles tense

Extremely energetic                 1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Extremely fatigued

Positive self-talk                       1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Negative self-talk

Extremely enjoyable                 1 2 3 4 5 6 7     No control at all

Focused concentration             1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Unfocused

Effortless                                  1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Great effort

High energy                              1 2 3 4 5 6 7     Low energy

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