Drilling for Diamonds

To become more confident and persistent we have to learn to think differently.  Picture yourself in a crowded elevator.  Someone, behind you keeps standing on the back of your shoes.  You think to yourself - “Who is this obnoxious jerk?  What a nerve!  How inconsiderate can you be!”  As these thoughts race through your mind, you get angrier and angrier by the second.

You swing around to give the person a piece of your mind when you see that it’s a blind person, complete with sunglasses and white cane.

Instantly your anger subsides, and your feelings change to sympathy or concern.  You even offer to move forward to give the blind person more room.

This example illustrates the fact that our immediate thoughts determine our feelings and what we are feeling shapes the way we behave.  If you think or believe that someone has deliberately stood on the back of your shoe and hurt you, you behave differently toward that person than if you think it was an accident.

It’s the same in selling. If you think a situation is hopeless, you behave differently from the way you would do if you think there is still an option for you to try.

The ABCs of Behavior

Psychologist Albert Ellis pioneered much of the work that shows how you think determines how you feel and subsequently behave.  Ellis uses a simple ABC model to show how we think determines how we feel and behave.

The A stands for activating event. This is the event that triggers the emotion.

The B stands for belief. When we strike activating events we react by thinking about them.  These thoughts rapidly turn into beliefs.  These beliefs may become so habitual that we don’t even appreciate we have them unless we stop to examine them.

The C stands for consequences. Our beliefs have consequences.  These are what we do next.

Here is a sales example using the ABC model:

Activating Event: I made thirty calls and got no
appointments.

Belief: This is a waste of time.  I’m not cut out for selling.

Consequences:I feel frustrated, dejected, and depressed. I’m giving up,

A critical point to remember is that the same negative event can trigger different reactions in different people. Here are three examples of how three different salespeople handles the same activating event:

Example one:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: I’m hopeless

Consequences: I feel depressed. I’ll take a couple of days off.

Example two:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: The competitors have offered a better deal. I might have taken them for granted.

Consequences: I’ll have to improve my service to my other key accounts and I’ll start tomorrow by calling on all my purchasing managers to see how I can provide better service.

Example three:

Activating Event: Ive just lost my best client.

Belief: I’m on a downward spiral.

Consequences: I feel angry and dejected. I’m off to get drunk.

As you can see, it’s your beleifs or thoughts that determine your approach to selling. Different beleifs produce different consequences. It’s our beliefs or thoughts that determine out levels of confidence and persistance.

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